Shyam Sadasivan
ThreeFish Consulting
David Whyte’s book has been said to be about “reuniting the imagination with our day to day lives”. And I agree, from the bottom of my heart. I read this beautiful book about 5 years ago, and I still wonder at how Whyte wove the fluidity of poetry and prose to give both meaning and direction to my life at work.
Whyte asserts that too many of us blindly trudge through a mediocre work life because so many “busy” tasks prevent significant reflection and analysis of job satisfaction. We often turn to spiritual practice or religion to nurture their souls, but overlook how work can actually be our greatest opportunity for discovery and growth. Whyte combines poetry, storytelling and personal experiences to bring us closer to the ultimate meaning of why we work. It isn’t a book for the faint hearted, and it definitely isn’t a quick read, as most of it will make you pause and reflect. Here are some excerpts that will always live with me, and I hope they give you some idea of how you deep you can go with the book.
I have added my own reflections, simply to share how they have influenced me. I hope they help you in your own explorations. What you see in quotes are from the book, and what’s under them are reflections from me.
1. “To even have the least notion of what we want to do in life is an enormous step in itself, and it is silver, gold, the moon and the stars for those who struggle for the merest glimmer of what they want or what they are suited to.”
Probably the most underestimated step – making a start. For a long time, I felt like I would never find work that would feel real, meaningful and soul nourishing. When the first glimmer appeared, it was indeed like I had touched the stars!
2. “Work is where we can make ourselves; work is where we break ourselves.”
A reminder that work can be viewed as a completely romantic pursuit, but it does have its own humbling and even destructive moments. There have been days when I have felt like giving everything up and running away from it all. Whyte reminds us that this isn’t something that moves us away from reality, but gets us closer to it. Breaking can be a step towards reconstruction too.
3. “In work we are constantly attempting to remember ourselves and re-imagine ourselves at the same time.”
Whyte beautiful reconstructs the old dialogue on “being vs becoming”. Work is about remembering ourselves through what we do well, and also about finding more about what we are yet to do.
4. “We have to say no just as firmly as we say yes.”
Something I exercise more often after recognizing it’s importance. My reluctance to say NO held me back from my greatest potential, for the longest time. Doing more doesn’t necessarily mean doing better work, prioritization can lead to greatness. And that takes the ability to refuse, and sometimes brutally so.
5. “Taking any step that is courageous, however small, is a way of bringing any gifts we have to the surface, where they may be received.”
The word courage comes from the old French cuer, meaning heart, says Whyte. To be courageous is to be heartfelt. We take some small, heartfelt steps and then we find the connection between these steps and our passion. This is why I don’t follow my passion; I follow my courage instead. When I find it in me to express something from deep within, I meet the world with it, so I can be ready to receive feedback from it. And most times, that’s what has helped me achieve my breakthroughs.
6. “We are living at a time when much of the way we see and describe ourselves is under immense strain from the currents of change that swirl around us.”
I can’t think of a more suitable time for us to meditate on this statement. We see ourselves as others see us, Instagram filter and all included. It is hard to see yourself clearly, when others see you from such different perspectives. When things are changing, and you still have a strong sense of self, that’s one step towards finding yourself.
7. “Death is much closer to each of us than we will admit; we must not postpone that living as if we will last forever.”
I find this a sobering alternative to the often mentioned quote urging me to – live every day as if it was my last. Whyte’s words remind me that death is the only truth we know, and I would rather live in the now than in the future. I have stopped living doing work that isn’t what I want, in the hope of a retirement I may never reach. And that has changed my life entirely.
8. “Our sense of success in life can imprison us as much as our sense of failure.”
A stark reminder that our visions of success can be do grandiose, that we could spend a lifetime protecting it, and not finding out who we really are. When I do something really well, I have learnt to celebrate it, but not dwell in it. I now tend to collect mementos of things I have completed, and will most likely never return to, like my trophies from cricket matches. With everything else, I tend to move fast from successes, to do whatever is next.
9. “Our personal identity which we think is based upon our beliefs and opinions is actually more of a function of our ability to pay attention to the world around us.”
Going inwards is important, but only to a certain extent. I have realized how crucial it is to know my own environment well, and to connect closely with my surroundings. Internal self-awareness only gets me this far, for going further, it’s outside I need to pay more attention to.
10. “A life’s work is not a series of stepping stones onto which we calmly place our feet, but more like an ocean crossing where there is no path, only a heading, a direction.”
I think about this all the time, especially when I think of the future. I want to plan the next steps for my business, think about where to go on holiday, plan how to help my kids do well in their lives, etc. etc.. And every time I start jotting thoughts down, this phrase brings me back to the centering realization that I cannot plan everything. I can only point one way, start the journey, and have the courage to pass through what comes along the way.
Like me, if you want to deepen their connection to your life’s work—or find out what your life’s work is—this book can help navigate the way. There is so much more in it than what I have shared here.
All the best, as you cross your own ocean!
