Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. – Carl Gustav Jung
Throughout my childhood and student life, I remember being told that I am honest, bold and courageous; a steadfast and loyal friend who is a comfort in times of need. I also remember always being an extrovert (can even talk to a tree, I was told), jovial, the life of a party! All great news… however, I also remember times when after being bold and courageous, sitting alone and wondering – was I “too bold”; was I “too impulsive”, should I have waited a while. I also remember overhearing jokes about myself at the same party where I had been the ‘life’… and immediately making excuses to leave.
During my professional journey too, I experienced similar impressions and feedback. I loved learning – but sometimes got in so deep that I went off on a tangent. I would finish what I started, no matter what it cost – sometimes my own health. Speed and deadlines were Gods – the ‘devil in the detail’ sometimes lost out.
And then in 2018, I came to work as a MarComm Consultant at ThreeFish. Since core to ThreeFish work is Personality and Hogan Assessments, I found everyone at work talking a different language”– high Imaginative, low Adjustment, high Bold, low Prudence. A “language” I was told fondly referred to by all Hogan-ites world-wide as “Hoganese”
The real punch came, when I took the Hogan Personality Assessments (all three – HPI, HDS, & MVPI) and had my feedback session with my coach – a colleague and friend!
As the Hogan feedback coaching session progressed, I felt like I was part of a magic show – where the coach was reading my mind! No amount of reading up could have prepared me for this experience. This was the first time that I learned three things:
- The journey starts with knowing myself – Self Awareness is the key to success.
- No personality score is good or bad – high is not always good and low is not always bad.
- Too much or too little of the same thing can be bad – the same score which helps to a point, can also hinder during stressful times.
The lifetime conditioning of improving myself prompted me to ask the coach throughout the interview – how do I manage this better? And the answers were shockingly simple!
Dr. Robert Hogan says that personality may never change – but, one can always work towards changing one’s behavior. In an interview he had joked – “How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the lightbulb needs to really want to change!” I think I became that lightbulb!
I took notes during my session and agreed on some key areas of improvements and ‘watchouts’ to manage my performance. The simple suggestions made it approachable and achievable. The eager beaver inside me immediately said, dive in! But then, perhaps for the first time, I paused, took a step back, made a mental checklist and THEN dived in. Self-awareness is truly liberating, I found. And here is how it has changed my trajectory:
- The first mantra I learned and loved was – it’s okay. Acceptance. Of myself and my decisions and actions. As I started to accept myself, my decisions and their outcomes – both successes and failures, I found myself revisiting, regretting and fretting less. I could accept, learn, close and move on. For someone with low Adjustment, closure became a possibility – and my creative energy could be put to better use.
- The second mantra in my book became – pause. Before starting a task, when caught up in the whirlwind of deadlines, when stuck inextricably in a problem – it’s important to pause. Maybe even take a step back. I have found this sometimes is the difference between ticking the tick box and adding value – even while doing the simplest of things! A pause is all it takes to shift from tunnel vision to a new perspective.
- My low Adjustment would always make me overly sensitive to critical feedback – once I understood why I was reacting this way, I could “let go”. My third mantra is “it’s not about me”. The minute I chant this mantra, possibilities open up. I begin to think – is there perhaps a better way? Maybe it’s coming across wrong, or maybe I have overlooked an angle. This is not criticism of “me” or anyone doubting my intent. The negative energy goes away, and a fresh slate pops up. And usually, I end up with a better product.
Hogan has most definitely changed my life. Being high Learning and high Inquisitive, I find myself trying to adopt the concepts in my interactions with family, friends and colleagues. Even in how I engage with my teenager! And as you can see, I am now thinking and speaking “Hoganese”.
So am I now the ‘perfect’ professional? Is every employer out there beating a path to my door? No. But I have definitely become more accepting of both my strengths and my “watchouts” and more effective at doing what I do.
The Jedi master Yoda from Star Wars again got it so right when he said, “You must unlearn what you have learned.” The unlearning helped me discover myself. I am – awake.
