It was my first day in a new job at a new company. Suddenly I heard a commotion, and the decibel level was shocking! I was wondering whether to ask a co-worker (they all seemed unusually quiet and uninterested), when the leader came thundering up to my desk, slammed a newspaper on my desk, pointing to a story about the company in a leading business publication. Clearly he was upset about the story and was demanding that I find out who had “spoken to them.” I was also directed to pursue legal action against the publication, forever jeopardizing any future positive stories for the company from this publication.
I still remember my pounding heart, the sheer terror, and the superhuman effort it took to refrain from running for my life! Later, I was to find out that episodes like these were the norm – only the victims changed. People who were “smart”, adopted a similar leadership style – and went on to become part of the unofficial club and were spared some of the wrath in future. The rest of us tried our best to stay out of the way or bow our heads down whenever the tsunami hit us. It was my first encounter with an unmistakably toxic leader. Sadly, it has not been the last. Nearly every employee reports having spent at least some time working for an intolerable boss – some report that they would be willing to take pay cuts if only someone will fire their managers!
Toxic Leadership
Toxic leadership is not always so dramatic. And not every loud, decisive, demanding leader is toxic. Bad leadership is often a consistent dose of inconsiderate behavior from the boss – last minute meeting cancellations, delaying decisions, and then blaming people for inaction, (spending whole day doing their own work and then) calling you for a meeting at end of the day, talking over you and not really listening, completely absent or random praise that is often negated the next week and so on. Toxic leadership degrades, demotivates, takes away feeling of psychological safety.
The question is, why is this behavior tolerated? What allows leaders with such habitual bad behavior patterns to continue to be successful?
The answer lies in what is called the Toxic Triangle – Charismatic Leaders, Willing Followers and Weak Cultures (Padilla, Hogan and Kaiser, 2007).
Toxic Triangle
Leaders are promoted for their confidence, and not always for their competence (Chamorro-Premuzic, 2019). Leaders who are confident, can self-promote and are charismatic are the ones that tend to rise up the corporate hierarchy. They get things done. They become powerful because they “deliver the numbers”, never mind the means they adopt or the culture they create. Unfortunately, arrogance, narcissism and manipulation go hand in hand with charisma.
Leaders need followers. Research has shown that followership is a human evolutionary instinct – we defer to those in authority. Two types of followers support toxic leadership – Conformers and Colluders. Conformers comply with the leader’s agenda and Colluders participate in the agenda.
Conformers are afraid of the negative consequences of not falling in line. They may lack the personal will, may not have a strong internal compass, or due to sheer economic considerations, they comply. Their vulnerability makes them susceptible to be exploited by the destructive leader.
Colluders on the other hand are often ambitious themselves and see personal gain and advancement by following the leader. They are willing to tolerate, even actively support the exploitative, coercive practices of the toxic leader, if it helps them advance their own personal agendas. Where there are opportunities to profit, toxic leaders are able to “recruit” colluders. Sometimes, colluders share the same world-view as the leader and therefore commit to his cause.
Both Colluders and Conformers are driven by self-interest, and the consequence is endorsing the power of the toxic leader, albeit the antecedents or underlying psychological dynamics are different.
It takes more than just leaders and followers to make a culture. What about the policies? Well, that is exactly what makes the third leg of the toxic triangle – the contextual or environmental factors. Leaders are enabled by lax oversight, poor processes, and weak cultures.
Once toxic leaders achieve power, they consolidate their control by undermining existing culture and policies. Steadily, their new way of working becomes ingrained in the culture. People carrying out the boss’ unconscionable orders, eventually accept the situation as normal. Leaders in unprofessionally managed companies can ‘get away’ with toxic behavior for years.
Toxic leaders find it tough to succeed in stable systems with strong institutions and adequate checks and balances on power and control.
Spotting the Toxic Leader
So, if I had to go back in time and advise the younger, inexperienced me; what would I say? Well, first I would encourage myself to look for the signs – and ‘spot’ the toxic leader. While toxic leaders may come in all shapes and sizes, they share five characteristics:
- They are self-interested rather than concerned with other people’s wellbeing.
- They lack integrity. They deny statements they made; break commitments they had given; and tend to bend or break rules to suit themselves.
- They pursue their own short-term ends rather than strategic goals.
- They are politically savvy, and adept at self-promotion.
- They are deaf to feedback and may be hostile and vengeful.
Surviving a Toxic Boss
Once ‘identified’, coping with a toxic leader would perhaps become easier – because then my own wellbeing would not be the first thing trashed. So how would I have advised the novice ‘me’ to cope with the toxin? Well, some simple steps would have been the need of the hour:
- Talk it out: take your feelings of anxiety or fear seriously. Discuss them with trusted colleagues, friends or family. Remaining silent or minimizing how bad things are, reduces options you can consider. Others may have also faced similar situations – and can teach you a thing or two! Feeling heard and being cared for is important emotional support.
- Look after yourself: when faced with a depressing situation, don’t stop doing things you love. It may be difficult but force yourself to do things that make you happy and give you hope. Eat right, sleep, exercise. It will help lift your mood and lighten your burden.
- Leave: so many times, we think of ‘what will prospective employers say, how the resume will look less than ideal – and keep staying on in the toxic culture. This could be highly damaging, not just for emotional health but core skills like creativity. Also, toxic leaders do not change. So even though sometimes you may get thrown a crumb of praise – it is not real and will not last.
- Learn to cope: if there is even some scope of influencing a situation, then coping or problem-solving strategies are good. When we cannot change the situation, a style of coping called “acceptance coping” results in less distress. Do this by first recognizing and accepting your thoughts and feelings about the situation and then by focusing on your wellbeing. For instance, act out or vent in private, saying something like – I am furious at this person, and would love to yell back and say exactly what I think of his behavior – to his face; BUT I will maintain MY professionalism – I will not give in and will let it go for now. Acceptance is neither passive nor giving up – it is accepting and choosing one’s actions.
- Control what you can: set your boundaries on how you will work. Create a “buffer” zone between interactions with this leader and other work – so that you have time to recover. And IF possible, reduce face to face interactions with the toxic leader – create a physical distance.
- ‘Fog’-up: Toxic leaders tend to blame and try to destroy your self-worth – so, when attacked, create a fog – don’t defend yourself, and don’t admit you’re wrong when you’re not! For instance, “…you’re useless – this is absolutely worthless copy,” can be met with, “…that’s one way to look at it” or, “that’s a matter of opinion,”.
I found that in my effort to cope and ride-out what I thought was a “minimum acceptable” tenure in the organization where I encountered my first toxic leader, I started leaning towards ‘conforming’, since I most definitely did not share the leader’s world view! I was fortunate to have a wonderful set of friends and considerate colleagues – who helped me with advice and support to help me cope. From sharing their own experiences to helping me with work, they helped me keep my sanity. But then I ended up questioning what was keeping me there – and ran out of reasons. I quit, even though I did not have another job in hand. I felt that my mental well-being was worth it and have no regrets to this day.
My experience made me question however – is there no way to stop the toxin right at the root? Well, there is! If in addition to the required skillsets and experience, candidates for leadership positions could also be hired for positive character traits – competence, humility, and integrity; then companies could ensure a positive culture. This is where validated and credible personality assessments are important – using these assessments, organizations can identify destructive tendencies, screen out hazardous candidates, and provide incumbent leaders with the strategic self-awareness necessary for success.
Companies could also avoid the toxin by ensuring diversity among their workforce. Since toxic leaders cannot create a culture without appropriate followers and environments – companies can ensure that there are adequate mechanisms to prevent such collusion.
And, even though prevention is better than cure – one cannot help wondering: is there an antidote to the toxin? Or, to use Dr. Hogan’s words, “Can people change their personalities?” Yes, but subject to three considerations:
“First, the part of personality that needs to be changed is their reputation and it takes a lot of work for people to change their reputations. Second, people can only change their reputation if they have accurate feedback regarding how others perceive them. Finally, people must be coachable – they must be willing to listen to feedback and then willing to act on it. “
As an incurable optimist, I prefer to remain hopeful!
Inspiration, Excerpts and References:
- The Toxic Triangle: Destructive leaders, susceptible followers, and conducive environments by Art Padilla,⁎, Robert Hogan, Robert B. Kaiser; The Leadership Quarterly 18 (2007) 176–194
- Why do so many incompetent men become leaders (and how to fix it) by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, 2019.
- Toxic Leadership: Fight the power; ebook By Dave Winsborough and Gaynor Parkin, 2021.
- Assessing Leadership: A View from the Dark Side Robert Hogan and Joyce Hogan (International Journal of Selection and Assessment; Volume 9 Numbers 1/2 March/June 2001)
- Reflections on the Dark Side; Dr. Robert Hogan, 2015
